Breakthrough

I saw a doctor last Saturday, and she gave me a prescription. She told me that if I could not find the medicine, I should ask the pharmacist for the generic version. Then, I went to the pharmacy and the pharmacist said the medicine was off the market. I was embarrassed and felt like an alien because I did not understand what the generic version was, so I did not tell the pharmacist anything. She called the doctor and asked for an alternative prescription. If I knew what that meant, I would have come back home earlier. Like this, I am struggling with the English in my daily life. However, I have to live with my struggle, and I will do my best to break through because I want to start working, I want have good friends, and I want to raise my kids in Chicago.

I want to have a job as a nurse with fluent English. I used to work in a hospital when I was in Korea. After I came to U.S, I studied again in English to get a license as a registered nurse. Even though I already studied when I was in college, it was very hard to study in English. I worked very hard and passed the examination. However, I had another hurdle to overcome. As my license was from New York, I needed to get it endorsed in Illinois. I searched for the information, and I found out that I needed a TOEFL score. “Ok, let’s study TOEFL. It cannot be worse than the nursing examination!” However, it was more difficult. It took me over six months to get a score high enough, and I had to take the TOEFL three times!! Thankfully, my sister and husband supported me and they did not let me give up. After I got the Illinois license, I had another concern. When I worked at the hospital in Korea, I had conversations with my patients a lot because I believed that the communication between nurses and patients is the most important tool to have a good rapport. I always asked them about their feelings and conditions. However, I feel that I cannot do the same in English. Here, my patients might be not only Americans but also foreigners. That fear followed me for a while. Therefore, I decided to do volunteer work at the University of Chicago Hospital. Although I do not have to talk a lot with patients, it feels good to help them and learn from them. This is my small effort for my carrier. I did not get through my fear yet, but I believe that I can overcome it some day soon.

I want to meet good friends and have good relationships without constantly being reminded of my language burden. I like to meet new people and listen to their stories. When I was in Korea, it was hard to meet people from other countries, but Chicago is the best place to meet many kinds of people. I have met friends from Spain, Mexico, Turkey and Poland. Aya, is my best friend, and she is from Japan. It was amazing that even though we spoke in broken English, we connected with each other like high school classmates. When we started to talk, we laughed, worried, and shared our sadness together. However, it is not easy to connect with every person. Sometimes I feel frustrated trying to make new friends. As my English is not perfect, I have to explain a lot and sometimes I make mistakes, so I had troubles with my friends because of miscommunication. In addition, I have a good friend from America. Before she started her job, we often met and cooked together and I taught her Korean and she taught me English. We had a really good time, and I always thanked her very much. However, I felt sorry for her that she had to listen carefully when I talked, and sometimes it was hard to explain everything to her. I felt that she was not a friend but a teacher. That’s why it is hard to open my heart to new friends. I miss my friends who are in Korea. Whenever I talk with my friends on the phone, I feel so comfortable. They can understand my feelings without explanation. However, I still enjoy meeting new people and I like to learn from the relationship with my new friends.

My kids will grow up in the US, and I want to take part in their education with fluent English. When I was in Korea, I had never imagined that one day I would live in the US. One day, I thought that it might be hard to educate my kids if I did not speak English very well. Of course, I will teach them Korean perfectly, but they will have an American education. I would like to be involved with their education, and I want to help them. I heard a lot of stories about the barrier between parents and children because of language problems. Children speak English very well, sometimes better than their mother tongue, and parents have hard time understanding them completely. When I was in fifth grade, I transferred to a new school. I could not adjust to the new environment or new friends. At that time, my mother had a conversation with my homeroom teacher, and she helped me a lot. Finally I was happy with my new environment. I want to help my children if they have difficult situations like me. I want to take part in school activities and I do not want to feel burdened because of my English. I realized that English is not only a problem for me, but also it can be a problem to my family.

Living in a foreign country with a new language might be one of the most challenging things in my life. I know it will be very hard to get through the difficulties because of the language. However, I will have my job, I will have new friends, and I will have my family. It will be a long process, but I will try and work hard slowly and steadily. Despite my English, I have another goal. Someday, I want to give positive energy motivation to people who have emigrated from other countries when they were adults.