Reciprocal Wedding

It is the most beautiful moment when a woman becomes a bride. Every little girl dreams about her ideal wedding ceremony. What will she look like? Where will the best place for her wedding be? How does she prepare? Everything has been done in her imagination. Nowadays, weddings have become less serious because people in the new century have to consider many issues to plan a wedding. For example, time and finance are the biggest problems. For those who have the time problem, the solution is to choose wedding trip which can save your time for the honeymoon. For the couples who have financial problems, they can make the beach wedding, which can save the rental for the dress and the place. As a result of the new wedding plans, many traditional customs have been replaced by these new concepts.

The wedding dress is one of the essential elements that cannot be supplanted. From the phoenix crown, which is the bridal veil to “Qipao”, the long fitting dress, Chinese tradition wedding clothes have been gradually taken over by the western wedding gown. Only a few people will wear “Qipao” for her wedding ceremony, which makes me feel upset. The Chinese people have an expression that says “When you are in a new place, do as they do at their countries.” I guess this is the reason why so many people like to wear the wedding gowns more than the “Qipao” because they want to seep into this new culture. Also, the western wedding dresses are more fashionable and have more styles for the bride to choose. As a Chinese woman, I think the “Qipao” can mostly present the beauty and verve of a Chinese woman, but I may never have a chance to wear it. I only saw my cousin wear it in her wedding. It is beautiful and attractive. In addition, the color used for the wedding dress is different from the typical U.S. dress. For example, white is the wedding gowns’ main color because it represents simplicity and purity. Unlike the color white, Chinese use the red color which has a significant meaning of happiness. You can see everything is dyed with the cheerful color.

Second, the procedures of the wedding ceremony have been lost in this new land. There are some rules you have to follow during the ceremony. Some of the superstitious elderly believe that before the wedding, the groom and the bride are not allowed to see each other the night before the wedding ceremony starts. If they do, bad luck will come to them, and their love will not be blessed. In the United States, many couples like to start their wedding in the church. However, in China, the groom and the bride have to meet their parents first and start their wedding in the groom’s house. The ritual of kneeling down is a necessary step in China. Firstly, these rituals mean to please the God that created them and second to thank the parents that have taken care of them for a long time. After the wedding, the groom and the bride have to take over this responsibility to take care of their husband and wife. Last but not least is to bow to their spouses and promises to respect each other forever. After all of these steps, the groom and the bride will give a cup of tea to their parents for the well-wishing to their relationship from their parents. I think, all of these steps are meaningful memories. They symbolize that your life has moved to another stage and that you are not a child any more.

Food is the thing I miss the most in this new place, and it plays another important role in the wedding. In the past, people were not that wealthy to have enough money to make their invitation cards for the relatives. Therefore, they made the cookies and bread to reveal there was going to be wedding party in their house. I like to eat all of those handmade cookies, but this old custom has been omitted in the western industrialized countries. Besides, the dinner after wedding is appreciably different. Chinese people like to invite all their relatives to their wedding dinner. The food they eating for the supper has to be named in the good meaning. For example, in Chinese, a coconut means to have thousands of offspring, lotus seeds stand for having more children, nine means forever and one means the only one.

Traditional customs will make us remember the roots of our country. No matter how the world was changed, customs will make us stay unique. To continue and keep our cultures for the next generation is the ultimate goal of mine. I wish I could design my wedding ceremony. When that day comes, I will put on the “Qipao” and enjoy my traditional Chinese wedding ceremony.