Same Ocean Two Different Cultures
I remember when I left Spain for good to live in the oU.S; my departure was from Vigo airport in the Northwest of the country. The region is called Galicia. I remember all my family came to say good bye. I have ten brothers and sisters, and they brought a big banner that read: “Remember your home is Galicia”. I had a knot on my throat as I said goodbye to the place I lived for nearly twenty something years, but at the same time, I was ready to move on with my life. I was excited about the new adventure that was waiting for me across the ocean. What I didn’t realize was that I had to deal with a different language, food, traditions and values. I was going to have to find a balance between two different cultures.
In order to adapt to the new culture I had to master a new language and it wasn’t as easy as I thought. When I was in Spain, I learned British English at school so when I arrived here, I had a hard time understanding people because of the different accent. In addition, my first landing in this country was in Tennessee. At the beginning I didn’t have many friends because I didn’t want to make Spanish friends since I needed to take full advantage of the English language. Through our first years of marriage, my husband and I managed to live in this bicultural world without major problems. Still, it was inevitable to feel frustrated when your level of communication was like a second grader. If you have ever been a foreign student you probably recognize these gestures: nodding when somebody is talking even though you didn’t understand a word, laughing when you are suppose to be crying or vice versa. In addition, when the kids came along, things got a little bit more complicated such as which language should go first and how we would approach it. We were starting to realize what it was like to deal with two cultures.
No matter how many things you miss from your country, food is perhaps the most important. Although I have now been in the U.S for several years and have had the opportunity to try the wide variety of so called American food, I still long for Spanish’s food. I remember my first few trips back to Spain which started as a joke from my family, like receiving me at the airport with a sandwich of the best chorizo ever, through the years became a tradition. Before going to Spain in summer I will fantasize about all the tapas bars I could hit in a day. On the other hand traditions are situations where you are navigating two cultures. My family was fortunate to gain new traditions such as the Thanksgiving celebration, but we lost “The three wise men”. We also adopted the 4th of July and forgot about the Reconquist to name a few. Sometimes it is not easy to find the right balance between both worlds, but on the positive side, it broadens your choices when you go out to eat.
Another important aspect to have in consideration is the task of figuring out which values you want to pass on. Being married to an American, I have found myself using the word Compromise too much. Contrary to what people say: America is not a melting pot; it is a country where a lot of cultures can live together. What was obvious for me was that my kids should grow up with certain values, but some of my values didn’t make sense to my husband and vice versa. So our household became a bicultural world weighing sometimes one culture more than the other. It is similar to Jhumpa Lahiri’s essay “My two lives”, where she beautifully and sometimes painfully describes how she dealt with two cultures. Even though we are sharing the same ocean, we are still figuring out how to navigate two cultures.
It has been a long ride into my adventure since I left Spain and crossed the ocean more than a decade ago. As a result I have dropped many tears and left love ones on the way, but at the same time I have gained a lot of friends and experiences that have shaped me to become what I am today, and I wouldn’t change them for anything. I feel like I am fluent in the new language but not in the new culture. Besides, I still struggle with writing; however, the positive side is that my children are now in fifth grade, so they are able to correct me, this gives them great pleasure and a lot of laughs. If I hadn’t dared to cross the ocean, these cultures might have never met; plus, this was the beginning to many many more adventures.
In order to adapt to the new culture I had to master a new language and it wasn’t as easy as I thought. When I was in Spain, I learned British English at school so when I arrived here, I had a hard time understanding people because of the different accent. In addition, my first landing in this country was in Tennessee. At the beginning I didn’t have many friends because I didn’t want to make Spanish friends since I needed to take full advantage of the English language. Through our first years of marriage, my husband and I managed to live in this bicultural world without major problems. Still, it was inevitable to feel frustrated when your level of communication was like a second grader. If you have ever been a foreign student you probably recognize these gestures: nodding when somebody is talking even though you didn’t understand a word, laughing when you are suppose to be crying or vice versa. In addition, when the kids came along, things got a little bit more complicated such as which language should go first and how we would approach it. We were starting to realize what it was like to deal with two cultures.
No matter how many things you miss from your country, food is perhaps the most important. Although I have now been in the U.S for several years and have had the opportunity to try the wide variety of so called American food, I still long for Spanish’s food. I remember my first few trips back to Spain which started as a joke from my family, like receiving me at the airport with a sandwich of the best chorizo ever, through the years became a tradition. Before going to Spain in summer I will fantasize about all the tapas bars I could hit in a day. On the other hand traditions are situations where you are navigating two cultures. My family was fortunate to gain new traditions such as the Thanksgiving celebration, but we lost “The three wise men”. We also adopted the 4th of July and forgot about the Reconquist to name a few. Sometimes it is not easy to find the right balance between both worlds, but on the positive side, it broadens your choices when you go out to eat.
Another important aspect to have in consideration is the task of figuring out which values you want to pass on. Being married to an American, I have found myself using the word Compromise too much. Contrary to what people say: America is not a melting pot; it is a country where a lot of cultures can live together. What was obvious for me was that my kids should grow up with certain values, but some of my values didn’t make sense to my husband and vice versa. So our household became a bicultural world weighing sometimes one culture more than the other. It is similar to Jhumpa Lahiri’s essay “My two lives”, where she beautifully and sometimes painfully describes how she dealt with two cultures. Even though we are sharing the same ocean, we are still figuring out how to navigate two cultures.
It has been a long ride into my adventure since I left Spain and crossed the ocean more than a decade ago. As a result I have dropped many tears and left love ones on the way, but at the same time I have gained a lot of friends and experiences that have shaped me to become what I am today, and I wouldn’t change them for anything. I feel like I am fluent in the new language but not in the new culture. Besides, I still struggle with writing; however, the positive side is that my children are now in fifth grade, so they are able to correct me, this gives them great pleasure and a lot of laughs. If I hadn’t dared to cross the ocean, these cultures might have never met; plus, this was the beginning to many many more adventures.
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